Wake Up Calls!

<ring, ring> The phone rings in the hotel room. <ring, ring> The phone rings again and again. You roll over and pick it up and slam it back down hoping that would do the trick. <ring, ring> The phone rings again and again and again. This time the sound is so much louder and much more annoying! Ugh! "Can't I just be left alone!" You pick the phone up again and hear a faint voice on the other end, but it is quite muffled because you are holding it in your hand still trying to gather yourself together to decide what you are going to do. As you try and come around the thought enters your mind, "I could hang up and go back to bed." That sounds amazing to you! So, sure enough you think yourself through the steps of hanging up the phone and then follow through and do exactly that. When you finally wake up you notice that it is about 11:15am and panic rushes into your head, body and soul! "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE MISSED THE BIGGEST MEETING OF MY LIFE!"

Have you been there? You know, having something in your life constantly ringing, trying to get your attention to something very important; the ringing of mom, putting out warnings like, "son, allow others to praise you; don't seek it on your own." Or your mom saying, "son, I continue to pray for you to have sensitivity." (LOL! I am not trying to say my mom is an annoying ring, so stay with me) How about your best friend looking you in the face and telling you to be careful with a certain type of lifestyle? What about your father specifying the need to "think" positive thoughts or a friend saying, "you need to think a positive situation and then chase that vision"? These are wake up calls, trying to get our attention. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

I truly believe God sends these wake up calls, because he loves us. He yells out, "Wake up! I love you and I see that this certain thing that you are allowing in your life will eventually ruin you." Or, "Wake up! I love you and this thing that you are doing is going to have a really bad affect on the relationships you depend on." God is constantly saying, "Wake up! I love you!"

But sadly, sometimes we don't wake up to the ringing of the phone until it is too late and then we realize it is too late... Life then has a dark cloud around and everything seems dead. In the book of James, we find ourselves warned of this situation that most of us find ourselves in. He says, "These evil desires lead to evil actions, and evil actions lead to death..." When I've ignored the alarm and followed my own desires (which are usually evil and selfish) I end up killing something. Then we are left with silence, solitude, hurt, pain and absence. Been there?

It is in those times that I am happy to continue reading in the book of James, "... So don't be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above, who created all heaven's lights. Unlike them, he never changes or casts shifting shadows. In his goodness he chose to make us his own children by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation..." This is the best part, "... became his choice possessions." Now that is a wake up call!

The wake up call should be the we, fallen, sinful, selfish, prideful people are choice possessions! The wake up call shouldn't be the consequences of our fallen, sinful, selfish prideful ways. So, wake up, because you are a CHOICE POSSESSION!

The Beauty Stops You... Remember It!

There have been a handful of times in my life when I've been stopped in my tracks and just thought, "wow, that is the most beautiful ______ I've ever seen!" Have you ever been there?

The first time this happened to me was years past the turmoil of my life (middle/high school) while I was attending New Mexico State University. It was during the fall months when I was returning from a weekend at my parent's house, in Albuquerque, that I turned off the interstate onto Main street, heading to my dorm room, when I looked up and froze! I quickly pulled my car to the side of the road and got out, because this was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. I was struck with a feeling I hadn't quite encountered before. I was in awe and couldn't quite think of a word to express the feeling that I had in my whole being at that moment. It has been years since that moment and I can still remember the beauty of that sky. The clouds were rolled out like a fan and almost every possible color you can think of was displayed; there was orange, orange red, blue, purple, yellow, pink, red and dark blue. The beauty stopped me!

Another time that I remember being blown away by beauty wasn't the visual aspect of beauty, but rather the experiential. It was March 10, 2006 and I was holding one of the ugliest little creatures I had ever seen. I was staring at my just born child, Ava, who had a cone shaped head and was purple with goopy stuff resembling hair. Even though she didn't look like the babies on television or movies when they are just born I was caught up in the most beautiful moment I had ever experienced. I was holding a miracle! I was now responsible for someone other than myself, which, in my humble opinion is one of the most beautiful challenges known to man. I was now a father! The beauty stopped me!

Another time I remember this happening to me was while I was on the clock! I was walking the hallways of Brownsburg East Middle School when I almost snapped my neck from whiplash! I totally forgot what I was doing when I saw this beautiful assistant leading a few students to do an in-school job. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my 32 years on this earth and I had to meet her. I took the step to get to know her and within a month we were sharing one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I sat in Starbucks and was blown away at this woman that sat across from me. Julie Rhoads Gurule was/is the most beautiful person I have ever spent quality time with and that day I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with her. The beauty stopped me!

These experiences were amazing, but the sad truth that followed those moments was, they were in fact, a moment. This doesn't change the beauty of the clouds, or of birth or of meeting my wife, but the moment ends and the beauty is now up to the eye of the beholder. I had the choice to then look at each day after seeing the beauty of not just that one sunset, but all sunsets, because they are all beautiful. It was up to me to allow the experience and responsibility of fatherhood to be one that is beautiful. And it is totally up to me to treat Julie like the most beautiful person I have ever met.

I hate to admit this, but I didn't look at every sunset as equally beautiful, I haven't treated fatherhood as the greatest responsibility either, nor have I made Julie feel like the most beautiful person that she is. I have forgotten to stop for a moment and see the beauty of the sun leaving the day and I have forgotten to hold the beauty of fatherhood to one of the utmost of my responsibilities. I have also forgotten to love Julie in the same beautiful loving way that Jesus loves The Church, because I've been too preoccupied with trying to focus and enjoy the ugliness of Self.

It's time to remember it again!

The BIG Decisions

Age 7 - (setting is my bedroom) "Mom, I would like to accept Jesus into my heart, can you help me?" "yes son... repeat after me..." - BIGd: to accept Jesus

Age 7 - (setting is my parent's bedroom) "Son, where did you get that money to buy that candy?" "I found it in the rocks... promise" (I did find it in the rocks, after I took it from my parents bedroom and threw it into the rocks) - BIGd: first remembered sin

Age - 10 - (setting is on the basketball court during recess) - "if you know what's good for you you'll stay down" (spit hits my chest and face) - BIGd: choosing not to fight back

Age 11 - (setting is after school in Middle School) ... huffing, puffing, "I'll see you at home, Nathan" - BIGd: to run home rather than get beat up

Age 13 - (setting is summer camp) "I believe Jesus is telling someone in this room to commit to Him for the rest of your life!" ... "Yes, Lord, whatever you want for my life, I'll do." - BIGd: gave my future to Christ

Age 13 - (setting is summer camp) "hey, lets go behind those trees and "talk""... "wow, was that your first kiss?" "yes"... giggle... "what's so funny?" "you slobbered all over my face" - BIGd: my first kiss

Age 14 - (setting is Dairy Queen) "here is my application sir." "when can you start?" "today!" - BIGd: my first job

Age 15 - (setting is Temple Baptist Gymnasium) - "thank you so much for bringing me to church." "absolutely, thanks for coming" - BIGd: my first sleep over to bring a few of my friends to church

Age 17 - (setting is West Mesa High School) - "I'm done with this place and with being a no-body, I'm going to Temple Baptist Academy (TBA). At least there I will be able to play basketball." - BIGd: my decision to switch high schools

Age 17 - (setting is in a parked car on a rainy day) - "Son, I am so disappointed in you." - BIGd: first time I heard those words from my father (I had got caught trying to steal sunglasses from a department store)

Age 17 - (setting is a room full of teachers/faculty of TBA) - "Danny, people are going to follow you whether you lead them up or down... which will you choose?" I just looked at him, full of pride - BIGd: first time I really realized I had a gift of leadership

Age 18 - (setting is New Mexico State University) - "Dad, this is my school!" - BIGd: choosing the college I'd attend

Age 18 - (setting is my first visit home from college) - "he is the one that ruined his life... now I have to help him!" - BIGd: allowed bitterness to rule (my brother had recently been shot while robbing a Subway Sandwich shop and was paralyzed from the waste down)

Age 18 - (setting is a youth group activity - over night activity) - "you should be a youth pastor, you are really good with us." "thank you, I never thought about that before." - BIGd: to go into youth ministry

Age 22 - (setting is by my brother's bedside in a medical facility) - "so, you forgive me?" "ya, I forgive you" - BIGd: to free my brother from his guilt

Age 23 - (setting is alone in an office) - "but dad, this is what I want to do forever" "okay son, but I think there will be time for this, just finish school" - BIGd: to leave school early to pursue youth ministry

Age 25 - (setting is the alter) - "I do" - BIGd: marrying Melissa (short time knowing her and even shorter engagement)

Age 27 - (setting is on the phone) - "yes, I accept your offer" - BIGd: to move to Indiana to take on a full-time youth pastoral position

Age 28 - (setting is a coffee shop) - "hello, so you're doing a Bible study huh?" "yes I am, please, sit down" - BIGd: fell to temptation that led to destruction

Age 30 - (setting is a hospital room) - "it's a girl!" - BIGd: to be a good father

Age 31 - (setting is my office at the Bridge Church) - "Rick, I've got something to share with you..." - BIGd: to confess a specific sin

Age 31 - (setting is outside a classroom at White River Christian Church) - "i've really messed up and I was wondering if you would meet with me." "yes I will... how about 5p today" "absolutely" - BIGd: to choose healing

Age 31 - (setting is the counselors office) - "I wanted to do this here so that there were witnesses and a safe environment... Daniel, I'm filing for a divorce." - BIGd: to let Melissa go

You might have read some of these decisions I've made and thought, "that wasn't that big of a deal" or "wow, that was a big one", and I would say, yup, you're right. But there is one common truth bleeding through this blog... all of these were my decisions to make. Every decision I've made my whole life has brought me to this place... good or bad, wise or foolish, sober or intoxicated, with help or alone... they were all mine. I must give account some day for all my choices and so will you! So, before you make that next one, just think... "I will have to take full credit/responsibility for this choice, do I really want to make this one?"

Age 33 - (setting is in an airplane on my way to NM with my daughter and a ring, while on one knee) - "Julie, will you marry us?" - BIGd: to marry the perfect person for me... my best friend! (I choose you, Julie)